I haven't demanded it, I'm just vaguely compelled to open email every Tuesday and guess. If it stopped coming I'd quickly adjust.

Wherein never been to Turner Field because I have no interest in the Braves and never much cared for National League teams
 

1. Rough Riders. Also a great song by The English Beat, but had nothing to do with Teddy Roosevelt.
    
   
2. The number of Hank Aaron's home runs, which is ~756?
    
   
3. Pak/Afghan istan
    
   
4. The Moon
    
   
5. Drawing a blank and I should be all over 1984 sci-fi films. David Lynch played a large pile of sand? Ah, scrolling here, the answer was obvious once I got to S. That movie sucked.
    
   
6. Eff Mr. Blackwell and the people who paid attention to him. If you know the answer to this your soul is less full than it could have been. I do not know, though based on "beehive" I will guess Amy Winehouse. My soul remains intact.
    
   
7. I've read Flatland, The Hobbit, and The Little Prince. They're all journeys...and I have nothing. Researching thru wiki I've uncovered the answer. Authors did more than write.
   

Gang war trivia

Wherein each answer contains "Crip" or "Blood." Gang with the most correct answers releases your relatives. If there's a tie, the police will break down your door and shoot your dog; if you don't have a dog one will be provided for you. If you miss everything both gangs firebomb your home.
 

Good luck.
 

1. Pilot on the first space shuttle mission in 1981.
   
2. Any substitute for currency which is not legal tender and is often a form of credit.
   
3. In 1969 this R&B/jazz-rock band had three singles reach #2 on the Billboard charts.
   
4. On, January 30, 1972, another name the Bogside Massacre.
   
5. The former gold mining camp at the base of Pike's Peak or a song by The Band.
   
6. Oceanographic institute in La Jolla, California.
   
7. This sausage is also called Black pudding.
   
8. 1922 swashbuckling novel by Rafael Sabatini, who also wrote "Scaramouche." Errol Flynn played the title character in the movie.
   
9. A purchase made for a specified period of time.
   
10. A a terminal-based ripper/encoder/tagger tool for creating Ogg Vorbis/FLAC/MP3 files under UNIX/Linux.

Quickly done rarely reflected

Wherein I'll start brining the turkey this evening

1. The Bitches of Charlie Brown
   
   
2. Batteries
   
   
3. Mission Impossible
   
   
4. Canada
   
   
5. Hitler
   
   
6. The Bitches of Charlie Brown
   
   
7. don't know
   

Songs of a sartorial nature

Wherein 1958 was a good year
 
 
 
Black Denim Trousers and Motorcycle Boots, Vaughn Monroe
Blue Dress, Depeche Mode
Blue Skirt Waltz, Jimmy Sturr
Blue Suede Shoes, Carl Perkins
Boot-Leg, Booker T & the MGs
Boots, Laurie Berkner
Bring Your Clothes, Laurie Berkner
Button Up Your Overcoat, Dick Haymes
Buttons, Sia
Chantilly Lace, Jerry Lee Lewis
Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes, Paul Simon & Ladysmith Black Mambazo
Don't Dress Your Cat in an Apron, Billy DeWolfe
Dungaree Doll, Eddie Fisher
The Emperer's New Clothes, Sinead O'Connor
Fool Buttons, Jimmy Buffett
Funky Bikini, Ursula 1000
Get Dressed, Bumblebeez 81
Good Bye Pork Pie Hat, Charles Mingus
The Golden Glove, John Wesley Harding
Greensleeves, various
Gumboots, Paul Simon
Heels, Q-Tip
Hell of a Hat, Mighty Might Bosstones
Hot Pants, James Brown
I Just Want the Girl in the Blue Dress to Keep On Dancing, Mike Doughty
I Like You In Velvet, Malcolm McLaren
If Love is a Red Dress (Hang Me in Rags), Maria McKee
I'm Too Tough For Mr. Big Stuff (Hot Pants), Vicki Anderson
In These Shoes, Kirsty MacColl
Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini, Brian Hyland
Keep Your Dress Tail Down, Boozoo Chavis
Leather, Tori Amos
Leopard-Skin Pill-Box Hat, Robyn Hitchcock
Little Black Sandals, Sia
Mini-Skirt Minnie, Sir Mac Rice
My Little Suede Shoes, The Robustos
Needles and Pins, Jackie DeShannon
New Suit, Wild Magnolias
Nightgown of the Sullen Moon, They Might Be Giants
Nothing's Gonna Change My Clothes, They Might Be Giants
Picasso's Shoes, Mrs. Fun
Pink Cashmere, Prince
Puka Puka Pants, Petty Booka
Port Starboard Sox, Kate & Anna McGarrigle
Raspberry Beret, Prince & the Revolution
Red Shoes, Tom Waits
The Red Shoes, Kate Bush
Seven Thirty Seven/Shoe Glue, Mighty Mighty Bosstones
A Shine On Your Shoes, Mandy Patinkin
The Shoe's of the Fisherman's Wife Are Some Jive Ass Slippers, Charles Mingus
These Boots Are Made for Walking, Babette's Feast
Shoehorn With Teeth, They Might Be Giants
Silk Hope Rope, Trailer Bride
The Silken Ladder, Gioacchino Rossini
Silly Hat, Blues Clues
The Slacks, Trip Shakespeare
Slit Skirts, Pete Townshend
Something's Jumpin' in Your Shirt, Malcolm McLaren
Soul Dressing, Booker T & the MGs
Stewart's Coat, Rickie Lee Jones
These Are My Glasses, Laurie Berkner
This Hat, Laurie Berkner
Top Hat, White Tie and Tails, Many Patinkin (Irving Berlin)
Turtle Shoes, Bobby McFerrin
Wearing a Raincoat, They Might Be Giants
Where'd You Get Those Pants, Fishbone
You Can Dress 'Em up (But You Can't Take 'Em Out), Mojo Nixon
You Can Leave Your Hat On, Randy Newman
Your New Clothes, John Wesley Harding

"edited to appear as such" is not the same as an actual continuous take

Wherein guess I need to buy a turkey in a couple days and get a bucket for brining

1. The businessman's leash. I like bowties but could never tie them myself.
   
   
2. Set himself on fire
   
   
3. ooh, good question. uh, wait, I'm confused. Is it number of states that border both Iowa and Ohio? If so, that answer is zero. Or is it [Iowa border states] + [Ohio border states] = ANSWER. Let's try that. Iowa will be [MN, WS, IL, MO, SD, NE(?)] = 6. And Ohio will be [MI, IN, WV, KY,PA] = 5. Answer is eleven. I've done some one day bicycle rides around the river bluffs of La Crosse, WS. Beautiful country. One ride I never made it down for was a century ride through Wisconsin, Illinois, Iowa, and Minnesota. That part of the Midwest ain't flat.
   
   
4. I think Thich Quang Duc might quarrel with Pangloss. Answer is Candide. I'm pretty sure that once long ago I extensively quoted from Candide and I wanted to link to that post. However, no amount of searching has uncovered it. Maybe it was all a dream.
   
   
5. Wall Street Journal
   
   
6. The Golddigger guy. Good lord, I just finished listening to Rufus Wainwright on Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me and that's the only name I can think of....Almost had it....though a Rufus version might be interesting....but Loudon would probably better....on second third thought, I'd rather hear Martha Wainwright sing it....Kanye West.
   
   
7. Last seven countries to hold the International Rocksteady Glockenspiel championship. Like the America's Cup, the winning country hosts the next competition. After winning the first 10 championships, it is a national disgrace that Jamaica hasn't held the "Ragga" cup since 1987.
   

Musical rebus #12

Wherein mentioned in Songs of a botanical nature


Click to enlarge

Songs of a botanical nature

Wherein searching through my list and skipping the Christmas songs

• All Her Favorite Fruit, Camper Van Beethoven
• Autumn Leaves, Edith Piaf
• Baby Seed, Momma Stud
• Banana Boat, Edric Connor
• The Banana Boat Song, George Clinton
• Banana Boat Song (Day-O)
• Banana Chips, Shonen Knife
• Banana Juice, The Mar-Keys
• Banana Pancakes, Jack Johnson
• Belleville Jungle, Les Triplettes De Belleville
• Big Apple, Urban Dance Squad
• Blackberry Blossom, Michelle Shocked
• Bloodflowers, Cure
• Blood Roses, Tori Amos
• A Blossom Fell, Nat King Cole
• Blueberry Hill, Fats Domino
• Bluegrass Breakdown, Roy Clark & Buck Trent
• Bonny Bunch of Roses, John Wesley Harding
• The Briar and the Rose, John Wesley Harding
• Cherry Red Wine, Luther Allison
• Cocktail Trees, Exene Cervenka
• Coconut, Nilsson
• Coconut Milk, Bo Dollis & the Wild Magnolias
• Coconut Telegraph, Jimmy Buffett
• Concrete Jungle, The Specials
• Cowboy in the Jungle, Jimmy Buffet
• Digging My Potatoes, James Cotton
• Field of Dirt, John Doe Thing
• Flowers, Camper Van Beethoven
• Fruit Salad, The Wiggles
• Fruit Salad Salsa, Laurie Berkner
• Fruit Tree, Nick Drake
• Fruitcakes, Jimmy Buffett
• The Garden, PJ Harvey
• The Garden of Zephirus, Dead Can Dance
• Gardening at Night, R.E.M.
• Grapefruit-Juicy Fruit, Jimmy Fruit
• Grasslands Chant, The Lion King
• Green Buds in the Springtime, DJ Frane
• Green Onions, Booket T. & the MG's
• Harvest Breed, Nick Drake
• Harvester of Hearts, Rufus Wainwright
• Heart Full of Leaves, Robyn Hitchcock
• Hellflower, Mary's Danish
• Holding Out For the Roses, Dayroom
• Honey Tree, Trip Shakespeare
• Honey Tree Lie, Patrice Pike & Wayne Sutton
• Hot Potato, The Wiggles
• The House at the Top of the Tree, They Might Be Giants
• I Don't Want No 'Sparagus, Mojo Nixon
• In Honeysuckle Time, Lonnie McNeil
• In the Jungle, Kid Creole & the Coconuts
• Juicy Fruit, Rudy Greene
• Jungle Beat, George Bruns
• Jungle Boogie, Kool & the Gang
• Jungle Gym, Jack Johnson & G. Love
• The Last Rose of Summer, Tom Waits
• Laurel and the Rose, Joan Armatrading
• Laying on a Bed of Roses, The Muffs
• Lentil, Sia
• Lush and Green, Grandpaboy
• The Memory of Trees, Enya
• Mint Juleps and Needles, Brenda Kahn
• Mushroom Maniac, Mojo Nixon
• My Little Grass Shack, Lisa Loeb
• My Sweet Potato, Booker T & the MG's
• Nature Boy, Prudence Johnson
• Nectarine (Part One), Mike Doughty
• Needle in a Haystack, Belle Stars
• Nutmeg, Fishbone
• One Tree Hill, U2
• The Orange and the Green, The Irish Rovers
• Orange Blossom Special, Jimmy Sturr and his Orchestra
• Orange Blossoms in California, Irving Berlin
• Orange Coloured Sky, Richard Thompson
• Oranges, They Might Be Giants
• Oranges and Lemons, Disneyland Boys Choir
• Peaches and Cream, Beck
• Peanuts, Little Joe & The Thrillers
• Pineapple Princess, Petty Booka
• Ramblin' Rose, Nat King Cole
• Raspberry Beret, Prince
• Rhubarb Pie, Laurie Berkner
• Rockin' in the Jungle, The Eternals
• Roisub Dubh (The Small Black Rose), Cherish the Ladies
• Rose in the Garden, J.J. Cale
• The Rose Tattoo, David Byrne
• Roselani Blossoms, Cindy Combs
• Rotten Banana Legs, Skankin Pickle
• Salt and Cherries (MC5), Wendy & Lisa
• Salty Peanuts, Philly Joe Jones
• Sassafras Roots, Green Day
• Shaking the Tree, Peter Gabriel & Youssou N'Dour
• Snap Bean, Li'l Brian & the Zydeco Travelers
• Song with Orange, Charles Mingus
• Stalk of Wheat, They Might Be Giants
• Straw Into Gold, Idina Menzel
• Strawberry Fields Forever, Los Fabulosos Cadillacs
• Strawberry Jam, Michelle Shocked
• Sunflower, Paul Weller
• Sweet Pea, Zuzu's Petals
• The Three Dogwoods, Nick Charles
• Tobacco Road, War
• Trees, Marty Casey
• Under a Shady Tree, Laurie Berkner
• Under the Cherry Moon, Prince
• Urn With Dead Flowers In A Drained Pool (Modena), PJ Harvey & John Parish
• Valley of Vegetables, Laurie Berkner
• Vegetable Omelet, Maggie Estep
• Waltz of the Flowers, Tchaikovsky
• Weeping Tree, Mary's Danish
• White Ginger Blossoms, Alfred Alpaka
• Wildwood Flower, D.L. Menard
• Willow, Joan Armatrading
• Winter Wheat, Michelle Shocked

175 consecutive weeks

Wherein I'll estimate playing 75 per cent of these

1. William Tell
   
2. The Star Wars guy with the beard. It'll come to me. Also can't remember the name of the phone; I want to call it Drood or Druid. Unless it's some other phone and I'm wronger than wrong. George Lucas.
   
3. Cambodia
   
4. Ottoman
   
5. Chris Everett, Martina Navritolova
   
6. That's a classic sounding Swedish/Finnish name so I was about to say 3M. But those bricks made me pause and now I'm thinking Legos.
   
7. I've heard the Dylan and Weezer songs, none of the others. No idea, but if you buy the new Weezer album, you can get a Weezer Snuggie.
   

Ear a la tartarre

Wherein for #5 whatever movie is being discussed I bet it sucks

1. bat of the baseball
   
2. Marseilles
   
3. Robin Hood's merry men
   
4. lava
   
5. I was going to guess Spaceballs, but since it's character and not movie title I have no guess.
   
6. Mexico or Argentina..........Argentina
   
7. FACT: They all enjoy the taste of raw human flesh

Come Feel Me Tremble

Wherein a few quotes from the Paul Westerberg documentary and concert film


"This movie would not be possible without your illegal footage and photographs. Thank you." opening screen of "Come Feel Me Tremble


"I'm open to a good idea. But if a bad idea is more fun, then I'll do the bad idea for the sake of the moment."


One word descriptions of old albums:
Interviewer: Hootenanny?
Paul Westerberg: Theft.
Interviewer: Pleased to Meet Me?
Paul Westerberg: Frightened.
Interviewer: Sorry Ma, Forgot to Take Out the Trash?
Paul Westerberg: Fearless.
Interviewer: Don't Tell a Soul?
Paul Westerberg: Sad.
Interviewer: Let It Be?
Paul Westerberg: Drunk.
Interviewer: Stink?
Paul Westerberg: Says it all right there.
Interviewer: Tim?
Paul Westerberg: Coulda been.
Interviewer: All Shook Down?
Paul Westerberg: Um...hmm...


*****
I shook John Lee Hooker's hand once. It was like shaking a cold fish. Like shaing a dead man's hand.

Once Kurt Cobain and I rode up in an elevator together. Neither one of us said a word to each other.
Guy in background: That's amazing, because I'd think he'd be dying to talk to you.

No...he was dying to be dying and I was dying to be somewhere else. We got off on the same floor and it's like he's in 516 and I'm in 517. It's like it was scripted -- both of us put our keys in, we fumble with them, go in and SLAM the door shut.

**********

It's severe A.D.D. That's why the first take is always the best take and the second take is different because I don't remember what I did the first time. So, I don't remember...my memory is bad when it comes to stuff like that. Sober. Everyone always chalked it up to "too drunk to know" and it's like -- there was some review in Portland, "he was too wasted to play his own songs." Wasted? I just didn't remember the damn things, you know. Something caught my attention and my mind started to think about something else and I forgot I was on stage.

If I Knew You Were Comin', I'd've Baked a Cake

Wherein in All That Jazz Ann Reinking literally plays herself


Bob Fosse wants to cut a slow song (from All His Jazz: The Life And Death Of Bob Fosse):

When the composer played another slow song called "People," [Bob] Fosse mulled it over and hummed it to himself and asked the composer to play it once more and mulled it over some more, and finally he said, "Well, Jule, it's a beautiful song, no doubt about it. It's a very beautiful song." He [aused. "But I'm afraid we can't use it."

What do you mean, 'We can't use it?'" Styne asked, stunned, for he knew just how beautiful "People" was.

"Well, it just doesn't make any dramatic sense," Fosse said, "for Fanny to sing this song."

"Why the hell not?"

"Listen to the words," the director said reasonably, as if the words were really his reason for scuttling this extremely slow song.

"What's wrong with them. They're great words."

"Yes," Fosse said. "Bob Merrill wrote beautiful words for it, but what do they say? They talk about 'people who need people.' Fanny Brice isn't a person who needs people....She's a great star of the Folies and she's surrounded by people -- people on stage and people backstage. Then she has a family, she has a mother, and she has neighbors; she has all kinds of people at home. So she doesn't need people there either. She doesn't need people anywhere, Jule, that's why the song doesn't amke any dramatic sense. And that's why there's no point in her singing this song," he concluded hopefully.

Styne's eyes narrowed. He liked Fosse, he respected Fosse, he thought Fosse was doing great work on Funny Girl, but Fosse didn't know about songs while Styne was feeling very on top of things, still on a high after the brilliant Gypsy. "Listen, kid," the little songwriter said in icy and measured tones. He brought his dialogue down to one step above a whisper. "I'll tell you what the point of singing this song is. Do you want to know -- would you like to know what the point of singing this song is. Do you want to know -- would you like to know what the reason is for Barbra Streisand to sing "People?'"

"Yeah," Bob said, biting and loving it. "What's the reason?"

"The reason she is singing this song," Styne said calmly before raising his voice to a roof shaking shout: "IS BECAUSE THIS SONG IS GOING TO BE FUCKING NUMBER ONE ON THE HIT PARADE! THAT IS WHY SHE IS SINGING THE FUCKING SONG!"

Hmm, Bob Merrill...where have I heard that name before. Of course! In one of my favorite Slate.com articles, Mark Steyn disagrees that Merill wrote "beautiful words." Let's look at The Worst Songwriter of All Time:

He composed, in case you hadn't guessed, on a child's toy xylophone. Between 1950 and 1955, it also cranked out "Where Will the Baby's Dimple Be?" "Mambo Italiano," and my personal favorite, "Oooh, Bang, Jiggily Jang." Even the singers don't like these songs. Rosemary Clooney, revisiting "Mambo Italiano" for a recent autobiographical album, explains in the liner notes how much she loathes all her early hits--"Come On-a My House" (Armenian novelty song), "Who Don Mon Man" (calypso novelty song), "Botch-a Me" (botched novelty song). But you have to admire Merrill's resourcefulness: Any old Alley opportunist can write a novelty Italian song ("That's Amore") or a novelty mambo song ("Papa Loves Mambo"), but to write a novelty song about Italians doing the mambo--that takes guts:

Hey, Mambo!Mambo Italiano ...Go, go, Joe!You mixed-up Siciliano

The guy who wrote that gets hammered from both ends. To those who love the great American standards, Merrill is the man who single-handedly produced the worst songs of the decade and so debauched the currency of mainstream Tin Pan Alley that it had no moral authority to resist rock 'n' roll. And, for baby-boom rockers, when all other musical, lyrical, and sociopolitical claims for the rock 'n' roll revolution have collapsed, the memory of growing up with the Bob Merrill songbook will always be justification enough.

Putting the hammer to the floor

Wherein hang on St Crhistopher on the passenger side

1. T&A
   
   
2. Sarah Palin
   
   
3. Electric Light Orchestra. No, pretty sure they'd been around by then. Met in 1976, doesn't mean the band was formed in 1976. Beastie Boys.
   
   
4. Io
   
   
5. MLS
   
   
6. Tom Waits -- I love that song. No idea what he's singing. Let us review:
   

   Well cutting through the cane break, rattling the sill
   Thunder that the rain makes when the shadow tops the hill
   Big light on the back street, hill to ever more
   Packing down the ladder with the hammer to the floor
   Here come the Big Black Mariah, here come the Big Black Mariah
   Here come the Big Black Mariah, I seen the big black Ford

   
   
7. don't know, how about no retail liquor sales on Sundays. nope
   

I often view conversations as threats

Wherein and sometimes as assaults


Typo ?

Comment of the week

Wherein just to watch it fry


KinderJ:

I hate fish. I mean really, really hate fish. I don't like the look, the smell, I have advanced the proposition, dismissed by the so called intellectuals and gray beards of academia, that all of human evolution is a determined effort to get away from sea food.

This, of course, is heresy to many people. Seemingly normal, wholesome people who will try and convince me that fish come in a wide range of flavors, textures, tastes, and that by ruling anything coming out of water is inedible, I am depriving my self of profound gastronomic joy. These people are, of course, wrong. So I kind of relate to the 'I don't eat meat' thing. Even though I eat meat. Because things with legs aren't weird like fish.

I tried to punch a fish once. Turns out water resistance kind of makes that impossible. Just, you know, FYI. In case someone else wanted to punch a fish...

Jesse's list

Wherein the i is optional


From my iPod:

• Jesse, Joan Armatrading
  
• Jesse James, The Pogues
  
• Jessie's Girl, Rick Springfield
  
• Deficit (Jesse Helms), Bill Hicks
  
• Why Won't Jesse Helms Just Hurry Up and Die?, MC Hawking

Not from my iPod:

• Jesse, Julian Lennon
  
• Jesse, Carly Simon
  
• Jesse, Scott Walker
  
• Jesse, Janis Ian
  
• Dear Jessie, Madonna
  
• Jessie, Joshua Kadison
  
• Kim & Jessie, M83
  
• Jesse James, recorded in 1924 by Bascom Lamar Lunsford, and subsequently by many artists, including Woody Guthrie, Pete Seeger, The Pogues, Van Morrison and Bruce Springsteen
  
• Jesse James Symphony" &"Jesse James Bolero", Prefab Sprout
  
• Frank and Jesse James, Warren Zevon
  
• Jesse James, Scarface
  
• Jesus Christ and Jesse James, Christy Moore